you have a theme going now with reconnecting with old friends...
what do you think has gone into driving that point home these days?
Since I don't have a lot to write about right now, I figured I'd go ahead and just answer that in a post rather than in the comments!
Right before my best friend moved, we became very intentional about spending time together. Grabbing a movie, going shopping, packing, even going to the laundromat and sorting socks! The location didn't really matter, the important thing was just hanging out. We knew that things were going to get more hectic when we lived further apart and just wanted to make the most of the time we had to spend together. Very little of what we did was for any real purpose, it was just a chance to talk about our days, chat about the kids, laugh about the latest episode of The Office. No biggie. However, it took a lot of those light, fluffy conversations to really open up the opportunity for some deeper, more difficult conversations. In the context of the silly, fun relationship, we were able to talk about some of our deeper fears, doubts, and temptations.
And I think that's part of this need I'm feeling. Not just to be able to talk about "surface" things, but to be able to dig deeper. To feel safe to share more vulnerable parts of myself and to be available to others for them to feel safe to share. But I think that requires a pretty hefty amount of relationship in the first place.
Beyond that, I want people to know that they have value to me. When my kids are feeling neglected, it's not usually because they don't have the nicest house or the coolest clothes or the newest gadgets, it's because they're not spending time with mom and dad. Certainly every now and again the "stuff" matters, but mostly, they just want to know that they matter to us. And I don't think that is limited to children. I'm sure it matters to varying degrees to different people, but I think most of us appreciate it when someone asks how we're doing and actually cares about the answer. When someone doesn't mind a second cup of coffee to talk about not only what you're doing, but what you're thinking or feeling or dreaming. And again, that kind of relationship requires time and trust.
Hope that answers the question!
