Anyway, today I'm going in a silly direction for Halloween. Last week, one of my FaceBook friends posted a status update about wanting to eat brains, but not eyes. I commented on it in some inane way, but then thought that I post a lot of status updates that sound like something, but are actually lyrics from songs or quotes from movies or television shows. So I went ahead and googled the comment to see if it was from a larger body of work. I am so glad that I did, as it brought me to Jonathan Coulton (JoCo to his fans). I haven't been this happy to discover new music in a long time!
So here's your zombie offering for today!
Your Brains by Jonathan Coulton
Heya Tom, it's Bob,
From the office down the hall.
It's good to see you buddy,
How've ya been?
Things have been okay for me,
Except that I'm a zombie now.
I really wish you'd let us in.
I think I speak for all of us when I say I understand
Why you folks might hesitate to submit to our demands,
But here's an FYI - you're all gonna die, screaming.
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were not unreasonable,
I mean no-one's gonna eat your eyes
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were at an impasse here,
Maybe we should compromise.
If you open up the door,
We'll all come inside and eat your brains.
I don't wanna nitpick Tom, but is this really your plan -
Spend your whole life locked inside a mall?
Maybe that's okay for now,
But someday you'll be out of food and guns,
And you'll have to make the call.
I'm not surprised to see you haven't thought it through enough -
You never had the head for all that 'bigger picture' stuff.
But Tom, that's what I do,
And I plan on eating you, slowly.
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were not unreasonable,
I mean no-one's gonna eat your eyes
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromise
If you open up the door,
We'll all come inside and eat your brains
I'd like to help you Tom,
In any way I can.
I sure appreciate the way you're working with me.
I'm not a monster Tom - well, technically I am...I guess I am...
I've got another meeting Tom;
Maybe we could wrap it up.
I know we'll get to common ground somehow.
Meanwhile I'll report back to my colleagues,
Who are chewing on the doors.
I guess we'll table this for now.
I'm glad to see you take constructive criticism well
Thank you for your time, I know we're all busy as hell.
And we'll put this thing to bed,
When I bash your head open.
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were not unreasonable,
I mean no-one's gonna eat your eyes
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromise
If you open up the door,
We'll all come inside and eat your brains
From the office down the hall.
It's good to see you buddy,
How've ya been?
Things have been okay for me,
Except that I'm a zombie now.
I really wish you'd let us in.
I think I speak for all of us when I say I understand
Why you folks might hesitate to submit to our demands,
But here's an FYI - you're all gonna die, screaming.
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were not unreasonable,
I mean no-one's gonna eat your eyes
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were at an impasse here,
Maybe we should compromise.
If you open up the door,
We'll all come inside and eat your brains.
I don't wanna nitpick Tom, but is this really your plan -
Spend your whole life locked inside a mall?
Maybe that's okay for now,
But someday you'll be out of food and guns,
And you'll have to make the call.
I'm not surprised to see you haven't thought it through enough -
You never had the head for all that 'bigger picture' stuff.
But Tom, that's what I do,
And I plan on eating you, slowly.
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were not unreasonable,
I mean no-one's gonna eat your eyes
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromise
If you open up the door,
We'll all come inside and eat your brains
I'd like to help you Tom,
In any way I can.
I sure appreciate the way you're working with me.
I'm not a monster Tom - well, technically I am...I guess I am...
I've got another meeting Tom;
Maybe we could wrap it up.
I know we'll get to common ground somehow.
Meanwhile I'll report back to my colleagues,
Who are chewing on the doors.
I guess we'll table this for now.
I'm glad to see you take constructive criticism well
Thank you for your time, I know we're all busy as hell.
And we'll put this thing to bed,
When I bash your head open.
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were not unreasonable,
I mean no-one's gonna eat your eyes
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromise
If you open up the door,
We'll all come inside and eat your brains
